Again, we apologize for our absence. There is illness in the family. We hope to be back shortly. In the interim, friends have sent us several amusing tidbits via e-mail, that we thought we would share.
What have we learned in 2,064 years?
“The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled,
public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be
tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should
be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to
work, instead of living on public assistance.”
– Cicero – 55 BC
So, evidently, nothing.
Banking Crisis Explained
Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.’
Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’
The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’
Chuck said, ‘OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’
The farmer asked, ‘What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’
The farmer said ‘You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!’
Chuck said, ‘Sure I can Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, ‘What happened with that dead donkey?’
Chuck said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.’
The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’
Chuck said, ‘Just the guy who won, So I gave him back his two dollars
Chuck now works for Goldman Sachs.
California vs. Oklahoma
Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks dog.
#1. Governor starts to intervene, reflects upon the movie “Bambi”
and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is
#2. He calls animal control. Animal control captures coyote and
spends $200 testing it for diseases and $500 upon relocating it.
#3. He calls veterinarian. Vet collects dead dog and spends $200
testing it for diseases.
#4. Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
diseases from the coyote and on getting bite wound bandaged.
#5. Running trail gets shut down for 6 months while wildlife
services conduct a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is clear
of dangerous animals.
#6. Governor spends $50,000 of state funds implementing a “coyote
awareness” program for residents of the area.
#7. State legislature spends $2 million investigating how to better
handle rabies and how to possibly eradicate the disease.
#8. Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack
and for letting the Governor intervene.
#9. Cost: $75,000 to train new security agent.
#10. PETA protests the coyote relocation and files suit against the
#1. Governor shoots coyote and keeps jogging. Governor has spent
$0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. Buzzards eat dead
Any wonder why California is broke????
WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY
Don’t forget to mark your calendars.
As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim males to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide. So next Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless America !
P.S.. It is your patriotic duty to inform others. If you don’t send to at least 1 person, you’re a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward and are possible aiding and abetting terrorists.
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